7:15 am
We are at the dock in Tenerife. They have just announced that the forecast is "partly cloudy" today. At this moment there is a fierce thunderstorm going on. It is raining harder than it does in the shower. It is coming down in sheets.
8:55 am
We go to the dining room to meet our tour group. It has stopped raining!
9:04 am
Someone from the tour office announces that our tour has been cancelled due to the weather. We are offered the choice of a different tour (the Winding Mountain Road Tour) which goes to a national park and volcano, with lots of good views (except that everything is socked in) or a refund. About 3/4 of the people chose the refund. Guess which option we chose. Those choosing the refund were told to go wait at the other side of the room.
9:25
The passengers are getting restless. Why do we have to wait if we are not going on the tour? Finally someone comes over and says the tour price will be automatically refunded to our accounts. Mad dash for the door ensues. Again, why did we have to wait? We go back to our cabin to regroup.
10:00 am
We leave the ship and set out on the alleged 5-minute (you betcha) walk to the town center.
10:10 am
After 10 minutes we reach the end of the pier. (Again Princess has the berth farthest away from everything.) We spend a few minutes looking at a map. There is a main street running parallel to the waterfront, and we walk along it towards the area where most of the tourist attractions are located. A few minutes later we spot a HopOn HopOff bus and decide to take it if we can find out where to board it.
10:22 am
We arrive at the bus stop for the HOHO and encounter Queue Man. Queue Man is wearing a red jacket with the bus company's logo. He keeps the line for the HOHO bus extremely well-organized. Whenever a new group of people arrives at the bus stop, they invariably try to crowd around the front of the line. Queue Man looks at them and uses his super powers to instantly determine what language they speak. Then Queue Man gives them a little spiel, in the appropriate language, about where the end of the queue is, how long until the next bus, the likelihood of getting seats on the top, etc. I heard him speak in Spanish, Franch, Italian, English German and Russian. His accent sounded almost perfect in each of these languages. I'm guessing he speaks Portuguese, too.
10:34 am
It starts to spritz.
10:35 am
The bus arrives and the line behaves and everyone gets on without any pushing or cutting in line. Thank you, Queue Man. Merci. Gracias. Grazie. Danke. Spasiba.
10:36 am
It begins to rain harder. The bus driver pushes a button and a tarp rolls out over the top of the bus.
10:40 am
The bus tour begins. We plug our little earphones in and dial up the English channel. (No, iPad, I am not talking about the English Channel. Stop trying to change the subject.)
10:43 am
It is coming down in sheets now. There is thunder and lightning. We have had to close all the windows. You can barely see out the windows, now - they are covered with raindrops - but we are definitely passing some tourist attractions.
10:46 am
We notice that the streets are flooded. OMG! Look! The sidewalks are flooded.
10:50 am
Can you see anything? I can't hear. The rain is so loud. Turn up the volume on the English channel.
10:54 am
OMG! Look! The water is going into that building. Get a picture of that.
10:56 am
OMG! Look! There are waves in the water! I'm amazed the driver is able to drive in this.
11:00 am
The bus pulls over to the curb and the driver comes up the stairs and tells us it is impossible to drive so we will wait here for 10 or 15 minutes.
11:15 am
The bus resumes its journey, but there is no further narration.
11:30 am
We arrive at a bus stop across the street from the entrance to the pier. The bus driver comes upstairs and says something to the people in the front. Nobody past the first 4 rows can hear him. I go up front to find out what he said. He said the bus would be stopping here, it was impossible drive, the cruise port is across the street, we can wait on the bus, or we can leave. I told those sitting near me what he said, and then I walked back and told a few other people, and then people iin the back were signaling me that they wanted to know, too. I went all the way back and there was a group of non-English-speaking French tourists who were asking me questions in French. Where is Queue Man when you really need him? I resurrect my high school French and manag to get the message across to them, despite my terrible accent. I wish I had thought to say,"Apres moi, le deluge."
11:40 am
The rain is not letting up. Sitting on a parked bus is boring. The rain reminds me that I have to pee. we decide to go back to the ship and just pretend none of this ever happened. Several others have the same idea. We put on our raincoats. I try to put mine on over my purse, but that doesn't work, so I have to take it off, take my purse off over my head, put the raincoat back on, cinch up my purse so it will be covered by my umbrella, put my hood up, and get my umbrella ready - all in a fairly confined space. We climb down the stairs and exit the bus, popping our umbrellas open as soon as possible. Nothing is said by anyone about a refund. Everyone is probably just thinking "Get me out of here." The street is partially flooded, but I have worn my sandals, so I just wade through it and head towards the ship. It's easy to cross the street because there is no traffic. By the time we have crossed the street we are soaked.
12:00 pm
We have made it back! By the time we get to our cabin we are hardly dripping.
12:03 pm
Ken goes out on the balcony and reports that it has stopped raining.
12:15 pm
It is raining again.
Things I learned today:
1. The ancient Romans knew about the Canary Islands.
2. The islands were named for the wild dogs that the Romans found here.
3. Canary birds were found here and were named after the islands, not the other way around.
4. The earliest inhabitants were a Stone Age people know as Guanches. Their origins are unknown. They were tall, blond, and light-skinned. They lived in small round houses and caves and had elaborate burial practices.
5. In 1402 Spain began to colonize these islands.
6. Santa Cruz de Tenerife is the patron saint of wet tourists.
7. Tenerife is the Guanche word for "Place of Much Rain."
8. It only rains 15 days a year here.
9. Someone saw dead rats and giant cockroaches floating in the flooded streets.
OK, I made up 6 and 7, and I overheard 8 and 9. The first 5 came from the ship's "port guide," which is possibly less reliable than Wikipedia.
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